i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Too much gin, very little bucket
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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