i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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