I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
