Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
