Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
