That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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