Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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