I puked a lego.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
