we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
