I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
