Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
