Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
