we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize