Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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