are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
