I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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