Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
ugly people sure do ruin things
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
