he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
