like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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