Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
