what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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