I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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