i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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