I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your penis caused this!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
