I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
