the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
