? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
