Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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