Can Purell be used as lube?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i out mim tonsoeep
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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