mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize