you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
How's work?
Spinning.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i've created a new STD.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
