What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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