oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
too bad you live with your parents still
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
