so that wasnt chicken after all
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
