oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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