Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
