How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
