That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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