dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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