i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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