so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just invented taco cereal.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
