so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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