why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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