I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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