these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
