I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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