You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
