I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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