That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
