i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
