You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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