And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
