i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
