Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
