Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
