I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
