i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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