Betty ford says i'm here all night
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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