cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Life is so much better after having sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
