Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
