My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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