Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
