You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
