Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
