I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
